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Post by ghost on Oct 19, 2007 12:43:04 GMT -5
thumper: oh i really like that pic! here are a couple of haunted screensavers.. i just added links since they're kinda huge, but you can still just right click & save picture.. www.brensgumbyland.com/haunted_mansion_7f4f46da4f2e7726ed0d7d66316e0817.jpgwww.brensgumbyland.com/Mansion1024.jpgwww.brensgumbyland.com/The%20Dark%20Church.jpgi use this one all the time as my wallpaper.. also thumper if you go into your 'modify profile' tab i put a bunch of extra avatars in that are already sized.. but if you choose one of your own it's easy.. i can help you resize it if you need to, ok? as it turned out he wanted to get pizza delivered! so we're going to go out over the weekend somewhere nice hopefully as well.. we need to get him some hiking boots for his wilderness survival course anyway.. t.g.i.f. ghost
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Post by sleepflower on Oct 19, 2007 13:22:51 GMT -5
Thumper, I love that pic!
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lyly
Full Member
Posts: 112
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Post by lyly on Oct 19, 2007 16:43:00 GMT -5
well so.. my real dad died about one week ago I was really bad, feeling guilty, because he was such a bastard and deserved it, this kind of things, i didn't went to the funerals, my real mum turned mad again, tryed to kill herself and she s back to th institution now, my bro had to deal with all this alone, and it bringed all the ... bad remembering things from past and for the future too coz i'll die of the same illness as him, and so... so well as i felt guilty i didn't eat, and as i was always thinking i didn't sleep either, began to cut myself again
and on tuesday i was in my uni when i suddenly forgot where i was, who the fuck i was, hat i was doing, just came back like a robot to my hall and didn't recognized my flatmates, and slept, woke up, better, but not here, and went to my tutorial but the teacher found me so strange that she told me to go have some rest
so i came back, sit down and had a horrible hallucination. i mean, i know it was an hallucination cause ... i saw a ... a fucking ... dinosaur in my bedroom i just wasn't here, i felt nothing, i was just floatting but stronger than before, i wasn't in this world for sure
after this i slept for approximatly 2 days. and now i m totally better... i spoke to a therapist today to find out what happened and she says hat the emotional shock+reminds+guiltiness+no sleep+ no eat+flu = bad brain not schizophrenia as i was affraid to think.... i just should look after myself so like this it wouldn't repeat ..normally.
tomorrow, trip to Edinburgh at the national gallery, i should wake up at 5... gosh.
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Post by sleepflower on Oct 20, 2007 10:17:24 GMT -5
Lyly, that's terrible, I'm so sorry. More hugs coming from me too. Hope you enjoy Edinburgh though. It's a beautiful place. I'd live there if I had loads of money... Keep us updated on how you're doing. x
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Post by ghost on Oct 20, 2007 13:28:52 GMT -5
wow.. lyly.. i can't think of a more traumatic week than what you described.. please take good care of yourself and try to find something nutritious that you can eat.. wishing you the best.. ghost
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lyly
Full Member
Posts: 112
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Post by lyly on Oct 20, 2007 15:39:15 GMT -5
thanks.. but i m truly better now edimburgh was very nice, did a lot of shopping, i m broke. we are all a bunch of friends now, it s nice, i feel normal with them, we were singing songs in the park at night... i phoned my bro for apologize and he told me that he understood my situation mum is not back in the reality yet, i think it will take a loooong time, last time it took 7 years ... and i m not here for her BUT I TRY TO DON T THINK ABOUT THIS
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Post by ghost on Oct 20, 2007 16:06:36 GMT -5
lyly.. it's good to hear you have friends around you now.. i had to leave my family a thousand miles away.. mental illness/schizophrenia.. i spent 40 years dealing with it all.. and at some point you realize it is ok to take care of your own self.. you deserve that.. take care, ghost
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Post by ghost on Oct 21, 2007 12:36:45 GMT -5
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Post by ghost on Oct 22, 2007 12:33:39 GMT -5
thanks for the exalt & back at 'ya! i am a happy ghost today since it is my first day without pain in my recent memory.. the last migraine is history! ;D i think we started a dream thread here once? i was into dream interpretation alot in my first therapy.. also i posted pages of my 'dreamcatcher' up at my gallery with tons of symbols & interesting stuff.. i don't recall dreams as much seeing as i don't usually sleep too well anymore.. last dream i was in a house that became submerged in rain, snow and waves.. just outside the window.. not inside.. weird. well, what should i post today that's halloweenish? hm.. here's a crypt that had an open door.. (ivy pried it open?) others here have probably already seen it.. i didn't venture to peek in this one though.. this cemetery was abandoned in 1900.. ghost
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Post by ghost on Oct 23, 2007 11:55:47 GMT -5
feeling alonely......and low started to think to much....things are going round and round in my head for no reason....feel like a waste of space...its like a sinking feeling. again nothing has happened, just my head doing this....i was ok this morning.... thumper.. it's never really 'nothing'.. maybe you've been trying despite a feeling of disappointment, and it finally settles in..? a hate spiraling thoughts.. with me i think it is anxiety.. i felt really happy yesterday.. the sun was shining and mt hood looked so magnificent in the autumn light with the moon above it.. i have been out of pain for the first time in like ten days? (migraine).. so i got busy and got everything done i needed to.. then by last night i just sort of settled back into the old familiar 'ache'.. that's what we've been calling it here.. the ad 'ache'.. or the 'crater'.. i don't know if it ever goes away or gets filled up? i've come to think after all these years that i will just forever have to make a life around the edges of it.. ok.. so here is a poetry reading.. me in vampiric nightshot reading ulalume last halloween.. (& snug..) video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1246321383375039272 ghost
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Post by ghost on Oct 24, 2007 12:29:03 GMT -5
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Post by sleepflower on Oct 24, 2007 14:16:30 GMT -5
Ghost, you're wonderful - I LOVE Edward Gorey's stuff! I want the Doubtful Guest to come and live with me! Thumper, that Puking Pumpkin was great - was that one from the Extreme Pumpkins site? If not, I'll try to find the link to it...it's a real laugh. x
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Post by ghost on Oct 25, 2007 12:41:16 GMT -5
here's my halloween pic for the day.. i took this in another salem cemetery.. how strange to see a joker here? ghost
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Post by sleepflower on Oct 25, 2007 12:43:21 GMT -5
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Post by ghost on Oct 25, 2007 13:16:19 GMT -5
sleepflower, that's a great site.. ;D my favorite is the one called 'barbie eater'
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