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Post by sleepflower on May 13, 2008 13:25:47 GMT -5
Mandy. I agree with Thumper, Pete and Mia. xxx
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Post by sleepflower on May 14, 2008 15:40:57 GMT -5
Mandy, you really deserve the chance to relax. Take the time if you can. I hope you can. xxx
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Post by ghost on May 19, 2008 14:27:16 GMT -5
mandy, i am having serious problems Still (a good 2 years into 'recovery') with b vit anemia.. please.. learn from my mistake.. even if you still do the obsessive/compulsive behaviors like the exercise/restricting.. try to cover your health by taking a good multivitamin with iron every day so you don't end up really sick.. ok? because all that work taps your body out and if you don't eat healthy/nutritious foods it has no fuel for it.. i notice in your pix that you seem to have a tired look around the eyes, (i get the same thing.. my eyes get real dark and you can tell just by looking that i need water & rest & vitamins.. because i'm pale from anemia others notice it easily..) p.s. i'm not saying you look bad at all.. ok? (in fact i love the new hair!!) but you know what i mean.. take care, ghost
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Post by ghost on May 26, 2008 15:25:43 GMT -5
that's great that you are taking some vitamins.. all that exercise at night instead of sleep.. wipes you out probably..
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Post by ghost on Jun 6, 2008 13:09:02 GMT -5
mandy so many things you post strike a chord with me.. the same things i'm sure others will relate to as well.. i cringe when my own mom ever lays a hand on me.. i have trouble remembering to ever give hugs.. although my hubby & son give me hugs, i just never learned to do it in childhood, so i don't ever think to.. and yet i think many of us with insecure early attachment are terribly touch starved.. a weird conflict! i went to an agoraphobia group for awhile where everyone hugged at the end (it was this whole 'hugs heal' thing with teddy bear stickers for all!! but the only way i could do it was on major tranquilizers!!! haha.. ghost
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raining
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And the void would be calling...
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Post by raining on Jun 6, 2008 13:51:41 GMT -5
Mandy, I relate to this so much. I cant remember the last time I had a cuddle or any affection, I cant handle it, it doesnt feel right or natural to me and id just want to push them away, but on the other hand i am so starved of it and really want to be loved and just held. its a no win situation.
xxx
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raining
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And the void would be calling...
Posts: 176
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Post by raining on Jun 6, 2008 15:41:12 GMT -5
Im sorry about that bad experience with the doctor. its very damaging especially when they are an authority/caregiver figure. Did you ever discuss what happened with anyone? or have you had to cope by yourself with these feelings?. when somebody has a strong experience the brain encodes into our nervous system shaping how we feel and react to something related to that incident. Its wrong what the teacher done, dismissing how you were feeling like that, it is not acceptable for a girl to subjected to harassment and made to feel scared or shamed. These things program into you and shape how you perceive yourself and you definitely have not done anything wrong. It does sound like you have fears associated with your friend, im sorry about what happened to her and what you went through. your right about the mind, even if something is illogical, the mind creates neural pathways so it wires itself with all of these assosiations.
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raining
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And the void would be calling...
Posts: 176
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Post by raining on Jun 7, 2008 4:36:02 GMT -5
The fact that you made that reference must have been a huge step You have nothing to be ashamed about and go at your own pace, we will be here if you are ever ready. I dont think anybody should down play the situation, the point is that it has affected you the way it has, its a deal to you so it is very important. Im sorry you were made to feel like the guilty one by the teacher, it happens a lot when the victim is made to feel like that. I remember when i was 13 and this boy (he was locked up after that year in a mental hospital) well he was obsessed with me, terrified me, i remember he came up to me and put red lipstick across my throat! he was over nice to me or very horrible to the point i was so scared of him and cried my eyes out but nobody understood what it was doing. these things in school are always down played and teachers need to learn how these incidents affect young girls who need to feel normal and natural about growing into their bodies, and mind.
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Post by killertofu on Jun 8, 2008 18:14:58 GMT -5
i'm really sorry about your bad experiences with teachers. sometimes people (especially supposed 'authority figures') don't understand how crippling their actions are on younger kids. in any case, i hope you keep talking/writing about it and also
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raining
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And the void would be calling...
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Post by raining on Aug 22, 2008 7:39:07 GMT -5
Hi mandy Do you know what has triggered it off? (if its safe to do so) do you notice what you have been feeling before it happens perhaps it would help to write down things you notice to try and understand what has been triggering it. maybe if you work out whats making you feel this way it will ease it from happening. Have you tried any grounding techniques? Ive found this page, I dont know if its of any use to you but it might be worth a try; www.wwu.edu/chw/counseling/subpages/subselfhelp/Grounding.shtmlAlso I came across this, its written by someone who is going through the experience and it may be of interest to read secretshadows.wordpress.com/2008/07/25/what-is-dissociationswitching-like/Im sorry im not much help, when ive experienced similar experiences im at a loss how to overcome it myself.
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raining
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And the void would be calling...
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Post by raining on Aug 22, 2008 15:23:49 GMT -5
I really wish I could make it better for you, im concerned you have hurt yourself, especially that you don't remember the reason, over here we have things like mindline and NHS Direct to ring for medical and mental advice so you can seek help over the phone if Its hard to get to a doctor right away unless they advise you to, so im wondering if you have the equivalent where you are? it might be a good idea to speak to someone who knows more about what you are experiencing to help you. does you mum know what you are going through so that you have got somebody there with you?. I dont know if it will die down by it self or continue but if you are in danger from hurting yourself I would advise you to see your doctor as soon as possible. xxx
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Post by ghost on Aug 22, 2008 17:51:41 GMT -5
hi mandy.. sorry i missed this.. hubby has 3 day weekends now and i was out all day.. first of all.. maybe it might help you to know that as someone who has had the si issue for so long, there are so many times i've done it without any obvious trigger at all.. in fact, just in the middle of seeming nothing it can come out the worst of all.. and maybe inside without your realizing it the upcoming meeting with the ed person on monday may be causing tension to build, understandably.. all the conflict over will you be responded to with proper knowledgeable and understanding treatment, the fears we know too well now about will the person 'get' you or be another disappointment in some way.. all kinds of possible tension/worry can be going on unconsciously? the unreal/disconnected feelings are something i've had to learn to live with.. i've never gotten over it, but just acknowledge it's happening.. my voice always is what i notice first, like it's not me.. then i feel outside of myself.. wonder if that's where the cliche term 'feeling beside one's self' comes from? please i know it sounds weird but try not to be afraid of the feeling.. it's your own brain trying to protect/defend you somehow.. in fact, it is that kind of defense that helps Keep you sane and Not hearing voices/hallucinating as you said.. so take heart.. but often the old defenses that have helped us in the past just act more to get in our way in the present when there isn't really an actual threat.. the threat may be something in the past.. the brain doesn't really know past/present.. and it can just be triggered so easily.. the fact that you are si-ing is a red flag to get you to take this seriously, it might be best to just tell the new therapist, that it is occurring, so they know right off? i know that's hard, but it's like pulling a bandaid off quickly, rather than agonizing over it, you know? well, i hope you feel better soon! no matter how bad it feels, you will make it to and through monday! ghost
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raining
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And the void would be calling...
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Post by raining on Aug 26, 2008 7:17:15 GMT -5
Oh thats good news, like you said something to stay focused and positive on to get you through to your next appointment
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Post by ghost on Aug 26, 2008 12:18:34 GMT -5
excellent! a good start is half the journey.. ghost
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raining
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And the void would be calling...
Posts: 176
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Post by raining on Sept 24, 2008 3:55:09 GMT -5
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