Post by ghost on Apr 26, 2008 22:59:25 GMT -5
one day i'll answer the doorbell and the mailman will be there with no mail.. he'll just say, 'brenda, drink water!'
i think he's the only one left who hasn't told me to?
i'm a solitary ghost.. today i had to extend myself to get through a day with the 3d ones.. long story short we bought a car, i had to drive our cruiser home from quite aways.. new for me here..
then i took my stomach for a test.. we all had donuts & then later mex out for dinner.. (c'mon stomach, coffee, donut, enchilada.. can't we all just get along?)
in between it all i went for my much needed eye exam to get new glasses.. hard to do since i'm too nearsighted to see what new frames look like once i take my broken glasses off :/
but it all worked out and the humans there, including the dr were very nice and helpful to me.. go figure?
i seem to have 3 different bloody knuckles.. from dryness? i bump them and they bleed easily.. embarassing while trying on glasses with people close watching me..
thing is.. the pain i get all the time in my eyes turns out is a condition from chronic dry eyes and the dr told me no less than 10x i need to drink lots of water.. gave me new eyedrops, told me i have to take 2000mg of omega 3 each day.. (will my stomach handle this without puking?)
weird thing is they took retinal scans.. it turns out i have this great big freckle inside the back of my right eye.. not good really.. freckles/moles especially big and new can be a melanoma. not good. gotta go back in 6 mos. to see if it's changing/growing.
my great grandfather died of melanoma..
it's just a nice big green freckle.. that's all.
i come home and have a terrific anxiety attack. not panicky.. just pure fear. insecurity filling up the gap between my left shoulder and my right like thick black smoke.. i am so accustomed to my isolation that brushes with real people scare me to death. and new things, new glasses, breathing in something new.. how can i explain? my body starts to feel inflexible like i can't move and i wish i could talk to my old therapist like i used to forever ago. nothing touches that bad feeling. not my guys, kitties, home.. i have only ever really bonded with people who never even know i am here.
ghost
i think he's the only one left who hasn't told me to?
i'm a solitary ghost.. today i had to extend myself to get through a day with the 3d ones.. long story short we bought a car, i had to drive our cruiser home from quite aways.. new for me here..
then i took my stomach for a test.. we all had donuts & then later mex out for dinner.. (c'mon stomach, coffee, donut, enchilada.. can't we all just get along?)
in between it all i went for my much needed eye exam to get new glasses.. hard to do since i'm too nearsighted to see what new frames look like once i take my broken glasses off :/
but it all worked out and the humans there, including the dr were very nice and helpful to me.. go figure?
i seem to have 3 different bloody knuckles.. from dryness? i bump them and they bleed easily.. embarassing while trying on glasses with people close watching me..
thing is.. the pain i get all the time in my eyes turns out is a condition from chronic dry eyes and the dr told me no less than 10x i need to drink lots of water.. gave me new eyedrops, told me i have to take 2000mg of omega 3 each day.. (will my stomach handle this without puking?)
weird thing is they took retinal scans.. it turns out i have this great big freckle inside the back of my right eye.. not good really.. freckles/moles especially big and new can be a melanoma. not good. gotta go back in 6 mos. to see if it's changing/growing.
my great grandfather died of melanoma..
it's just a nice big green freckle.. that's all.
i come home and have a terrific anxiety attack. not panicky.. just pure fear. insecurity filling up the gap between my left shoulder and my right like thick black smoke.. i am so accustomed to my isolation that brushes with real people scare me to death. and new things, new glasses, breathing in something new.. how can i explain? my body starts to feel inflexible like i can't move and i wish i could talk to my old therapist like i used to forever ago. nothing touches that bad feeling. not my guys, kitties, home.. i have only ever really bonded with people who never even know i am here.
ghost