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Post by sundaymorning on May 22, 2007 9:17:42 GMT -5
I started therapy on Saturday. A very nice lady who seems to know what she's talking about as far as AD goes.
She says it's important that we see each other fairly often in the beginning in order to build a "relationship". She actually used a particular term, but I can't remember what it was.
As I was telling her some stories from childhood she actually began to cry. Which unnerved me a little.
I know I can very paranoid, cynical and untrusting (which is why I am in therapy) but I couldn't stop myself from wondering if it was just an act to make me trust her.
I'm sure it wasn't, and I'm sure she was honestly moved to tears. But I couldn't help wondering.
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Post by ghost on May 22, 2007 12:09:55 GMT -5
that's great news! that you were right upfront with the concept of AD should really help alot i think.. yeah, i remember kinda marveling the time or two that i saw my t well up that way.. and i'm so disconnected from my own stories as i tell them that i never cry.. i giggle insanely a bit.. so i just didn't know what to think.. immediately our issue is mistrust.. are they fake plastic tears for our benefit? or the real deal.. only you will be able to tell.. but really not that many people have that ability to summon tears so easily.. (my mom can though.. so it particularly bothers me.. hehe..) ;D good luck! ghost
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Post by ghost on Nov 8, 2007 13:39:34 GMT -5
in my family my mom cried endlessly.. still does.. it is sickeningly manipulative and i hate it. but of course anyone else crying was met with such viscious ridicule that i learned to shut off my own feelings as i was trained.. but then, yeah, of course i got that same wrap when i wouldn't appear to feel sorry for my mom that i was cold & unfeeling/hard.. not even close to true.. i'd just been so used up i felt all cleaned out. my test now is when someone cries if i feel moved/touched then i trust my instinct that it is genuine pain.. if i feel 'please just shut up' (no compassion) then i believe the tears are fake and someone's trying to use me. and yeah, then i'm cold. i'm done with that. it's crazy with me that i cannot cry when it's totally appropriate to.. and yet when i'm alone i'm choking on tears half the time. makes me feel like a basket case.. once others are around that weak smile just stamps right back on my face and i'm 'happy happy' like i'm supposed to be, right? i try not to beat myself up for this self - fakery too much because i really do want to be friendly.. want to be hopeful.. so it's only part fake.. ghost
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Post by ghost on Nov 8, 2007 13:41:13 GMT -5
just wanted to add that it is me, ghost! ^^^ i'm breaking in my new laptop and not entirely set up yet.. the forum thinks i'm an imposter..? 0_0
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Post by ghost on Nov 9, 2007 15:56:02 GMT -5
thumper.. take it from someone who has been to many many therapists.. plenty of them are idiots..
what a jerk.
ghost
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