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Anxious
Feb 9, 2008 14:05:21 GMT -5
Post by ghost on Feb 9, 2008 14:05:21 GMT -5
i used to get my panic attacks every evening at the same time.. and the same kind of feeling you're describing of the immensity of everything.. i'd experience it if i looked at the night sky.. odd, huh? i only felt secure if there were clouds.. space freaked me out.. i think the anxiety when you're alone can mean a fear of knowing there's no one you can depend on.. in therapy i had to deal with my fear of fainting in public (since i fainted with my ed).. i was certain no stranger would even help me.. that i'd just be left there.. i'm sorry you are feeling such insecurity.. we online may be far away.. but we are here if you need us! ghost
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raining
Full Member
And the void would be calling...
Posts: 176
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Anxious
Feb 18, 2008 9:29:13 GMT -5
Post by raining on Feb 18, 2008 9:29:13 GMT -5
This probably isn't any help because i don't really know much about it but its like you've already said,
'free-floating anxiety' seems to be anxiety that has a life of its own, you feel anxious all of the time without knowing what it is you feel anxious about. People with generalised anxiety may find that they:
* easily lose their patience * have difficulty concentrating * think constantly about the worst outcome * have difficulty sleeping * become depressed and/or * become preoccupied with, or obsessional about, one subject
Panic however develops quickly into crisis and has a noticeable cause as to why its occurring.
I have to say I'm like you with this one, i fit into both, i have constant anxiety when there seems to be no reason to and also have a anxiety and panic disorder (social phobia). I wonder if anyone does actually fit into one or another, can you have one without the other?
Mandy your not alone on that shower thing either, i cant have a bath at night because than my full attention isn't on my surroundings, i might not hear that someones breaking in or if i do it would cause me to take to long to try escaping.
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Anxious
Feb 18, 2008 13:12:49 GMT -5
Post by ghost on Feb 18, 2008 13:12:49 GMT -5
i'm panic disorder w/agoraphobia.. and i experience both the 'free floating' kind of anxiety, that i think of as a general state of fear and insecurity that just never really goes away, but i get full on panic attacks still here and there, triggered by old familiar things.. i'm not much help either with the diagnostic details since with me it is splitting hairs.. the only difference i know of is anxiety vs. panic.. i.e. anxiety/insecurity is one level, panic is the extreme events that practically land you in the e.r. anxiety becomes one classification.. and panic attacks over time can lead to agoraphobia, which is 'fear of the marketplace' but in reality is more fear of panic attacks happening in the marketplace.. don't know if that helps? also, about the insecurity thing in the previous posts.. since you're in N. Ca, right, mandy? this should be easy for you.. i have found that i get such a feeling of security when i find enormous ancient trees.. does this sound weird? lol.. i call them grandfather trees and when i see one i just imagine it being right there since before the revolutionary war, for hundreds of years.. and it gives me such a sense of security.. like the opposite of the night sky thing i mentioned? we had a giant ancient sitka spruce tree here that we visited that i loved, and in the last big thunderstorm lightning struck it and eventually it broke in two.. it's now just a giant ancient tree stump.. that effected more than you could believe, the thought that after so long, it finally was taken down! anxiety is no fun. since i've done my years of tranquilizers and meds i've had to just accept that i'm probably always going to live with some level of fear.. ghost
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Anxious
Feb 29, 2008 13:13:02 GMT -5
Post by ghost on Feb 29, 2008 13:13:02 GMT -5
mandy i haven't gotten back to it yet.. but in the latest psychcentral news the first article was about 'existential depression'.. it's in the 'info' area.. i always put them there.. wonder if that is relevant? also food for thought.. my first really severe panic attacks had to do with an odd feeling.. i didn't know what was happening to me except i had a change in my consciousness.. like i was always in a bubble.. and the bubble burst and left me in a larger bubble.. it is awareness growing and your state of consciousness shifts.. but i'd always been used to my own little safe insulated dysfunctional bubble.. you know, in my family i had to be 'shut off' to a big degree.. it happened several times over the years and scared the wits out of me.. if this sounds like what you are experiencing remember it is actually a healthy/good thing, just scary at first.. hope this helps, ghost
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raining
Full Member
And the void would be calling...
Posts: 176
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Anxious
Feb 29, 2008 14:52:04 GMT -5
Post by raining on Feb 29, 2008 14:52:04 GMT -5
Mandy I hope you start feeling a bit better soon x Everything is harder to deal with when your sleep deprived it really doesn't help things. Ghost do you mean its like (I hope i make some sort of sense) you go around kind of on autopilot and carry on in your own world and then all of a sudden it all falls away and you panic and come to a huge unbearable realisation of the world?, I get this a lot from time to time and its desperately hard to cope through.
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Anxious
Mar 1, 2008 20:28:46 GMT -5
Post by ghost on Mar 1, 2008 20:28:46 GMT -5
Ghost do you mean its like (I hope i make some sort of sense) you go around kind of on autopilot and carry on in your own world and then all of a sudden it all falls away and you panic and come to a huge unbearable realisation of the world?, I get this a lot from time to time and its desperately hard to cope through. raining, yeah.. i have had all kinds of anxiety attacks of this variety.. sometimes like i said, like an overall noticeable shift in my consciousness.. mostly when i was in my 20's and had first gotten into therapy and started dealing with those kinds of issues.. other times there's some concrete idea that goes with it too, like once many years ago it seemed to dawn on me (i know how odd this may sound..) that blood was real.. i don't know how else to explain except that somehow in childhood i had detached from that reality due to trauma? i also had a 'realization' that my parents were really my parents.. i know how odd that sounds, but to me it was profound somehow.. i am dissociative, so i spent a lot of my youth in a kind of shut down state as a defense.. and often when i connect in some way with some core issue from the past i start shaking really bad, chattering as if i were cold but i'm not.. and i think of it now as the opposite of dissociation.. like re-association? similar, but not as anxiety producing.. hope this explains better? ghost p.s. mandy.. i read another psychcentral article about exactly what you are saying about becoming so conscious about anxiety now.. it is a common question/effect it seems when first starting therapy, it is unnerving at first.. to be noticing all we were ignoring before, but it should settle down as you adjust to your new found awareness.. i hope so for you..
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Anxious
Mar 3, 2008 13:21:37 GMT -5
Post by ghost on Mar 3, 2008 13:21:37 GMT -5
hey mandy, i'm sorry i wasn't online yesterday, i would've posted a reply to this when it might have helped..? intrusive thoughts are very frightening.. i have had them at times obsessive/circular style and they just keep you spiraling in worry.. it's really good to post when you feel panic that way, sometimes just getting your fear out in the open diffuses some of it and talking to others can help you get your bearings/ground you a bit.. the 'free floating' anxiety is like a resevoir of fear you've tapped into.. with me it's clear where mine came from, i was raised in an environment of total insecurity/fear for my safety, but even knowing that doesn't dispel the feeling when i'm experiencing it.. it is timeless.. but talking to someone else can help you sort out what is a valid fear right in the present and what may be residue from the past.. so much of what you say sounds like your fear is about having your security invaded.. so go about making sure you have taken all actual precautions as far as locks/windows, etc.. and then maybe think about what it means.. is it from the past? sometimes it's a fear of not being able to have control.. and that fear just steers all your thoughts in every conceiveable way making you worry about everything new that you consider.. in other words it seems to grow.. when it may really be one thing.. if the intrusive thoughts cannot be dispelled by airing them and talking them out, if it gets too frightening/overwhelming, if you decide to try meds.. just know that they are all a trade-off.. some have side effects, it's just a matter of finding one that helps that you can live with.. i'm not crazy about ads, as everyone knows.. zoloft, for example, causes such an increase in anxiety at first (it did with me, at least, but i've read it many times from others as well..), the others can make you sick/feel worse or better until you have to go off of them.. i've really only had a lot of experience with tranquilizers like klonopin and xanax.. what i've found with them is that they 'work' for about a month or two? so if you really need it to get past a particularly hard time it can be helpful.. with me i just ended up taking more later trying to feel calm and they just rendered me high or unconscious. xanax seems to exacerbate si symptoms while klonopin doesn't.. and klonopin causes terrible anxiety producing insomnia if not withdrawn from very carefully.. some of the newer drugs like effexor and lexapro i would advise against going on at all costs as i've heard such horror stories about trying to come off of them.. remember you can always post here.. vent away if we can help you sort it out or be of any comfort to you.. panic sucks. i live with it, and even after my long life time it still comes along and sweeps me away.. but at least it means i've had tons of experience with it and know the road..? take care chica, ghost
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Anxious
Mar 5, 2008 15:35:53 GMT -5
Post by ghost on Mar 5, 2008 15:35:53 GMT -5
hi mandy! hey, how is your friend recovering? everything seems to be hitting you at once these days.. sometimes when you start therapy and start digging it opens up a whole can of worms.. but from what you said in your other post it really does sound like you are making progress! it's scary to travel into new territory, but it's the only way outta the past.. keep on trucking.. are you still thinking about changing therapists? this one disregarding your anxiety.. what's with that?! ghost
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Anxious
Apr 28, 2008 13:23:09 GMT -5
Post by ghost on Apr 28, 2008 13:23:09 GMT -5
i'm dealing with anxiety right now too mandy, so i sure relate.. relaxation and meditation only do so much.. i find myself having to imagine my own worst case scenario and just ask myself how i'd deal with that. because we'll survive this stuff.. believe me, after a lifetime of this fear, i know i'll survive it even if at times i think i'd rather not 'cause i'm so sick of it.. the exposure therapy will definitely get uncomfortable, it's meant to.. i try to face my fears the same way only in slower motion, but i do know once i've faced things, or done the new dreaded thing a few times, i get over that horrible first anxiety.. hopefully the therapy will help push you past it with someone right there to help you along? i could stand someone like that myself these days.. haha.. ghost
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Anxious
May 1, 2008 13:43:47 GMT -5
Post by ghost on May 1, 2008 13:43:47 GMT -5
with me i literally feel like i'm getting stuck physically.. like i get stiff/inflexible from tension or something.. and i can't move.. i won't move from my chair to go to bed.. so i get you.. maybe wait a bit till you feel a bit less overwhelmed, and then tackle the plans for the treatment? ghost
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