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Post by ghost on Nov 24, 2007 19:04:05 GMT -5
i notice no one's around..
that's for the best right now for me
it's a ghost forum..
just like old home..
it is freezing here.. had my first winter bit of snow on the washington side today.. won't be long till it's here though..
stuff is frozen and the temps are below freezing..
i'm nice and warm.
my russian friend is right here..
arms around me.
ghost
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Post by sleepflower on Nov 26, 2007 3:20:54 GMT -5
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Post by sleepflower on Nov 26, 2007 10:59:09 GMT -5
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Post by ghost on Nov 26, 2007 13:15:44 GMT -5
i'm here.. and i'm ok. i guess records are meant to be broken? it's unfair how sick it makes me.. with my stomach & heart.. whatever it is? vodka = poison.  ghost p.s. geez lookat all the paperhugs!!    thanks! |
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Post by ghost on Nov 28, 2007 15:16:46 GMT -5
what have i done?  the thing is.. now i just want it back.. and i don't care about anything else.. sick or not i just want it back. where's a handy dr when you need one? maybe it's not my heart, maybe it's just my stomach.. my stomach has been shot for half my life.. maybe i'm still anemic? i just don't even care. i'll risk the deathly sick. ghost |
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Post by sleepflower on Nov 28, 2007 16:24:35 GMT -5
Please be careful, Ghost. I - and we here - don't want to see you self-destruct. We love and respect you too much for that. Can we do anything? Would it help to talk about it? Hope you're OK but I know what you mean...once you break the seal, you think 'to hell with it'. Please try to remember how long you've stuck it out until now and stick it out some more. If there's anything I can do, I'm here. xxx |
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Post by ghost on Nov 29, 2007 19:24:56 GMT -5
thanks for asking.. i'm doing a little better right now.. i've been trying to step back and wait this out.. these cravings.. i let out a demon and it has been hell.. it's like i'm split and the 99% part says pour that drink NOW.  (the one with the horns..) the 1% part says.. 'don't do it.. you'll get the deathly sick!' (the little one with the wings..) over time it's become about 90% to 10%.. improvement! it's a 3 day weekend with me & my o/h.. x fingers he doesn't push me over the edge.. ghost
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lyly
Full Member
Posts: 112
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Post by lyly on Nov 29, 2007 20:55:48 GMT -5
Ghost, resist, please ...
I send you the biggest hug that I can do
and it's so big that I didn't even find the right smiley for it !
please take care
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Post by ghost on Nov 30, 2007 16:08:47 GMT -5
thanks lyly! i am my own worst torment.. i brought this on myself.. trying to stay distracted.. just not think about it.. or if i do .. make myself remember how sick it makes me..  |
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Post by ghost on Dec 1, 2007 17:02:07 GMT -5
hanging tough.. but this little devil keeps jabbing me.. thumper, endless night is a scene from the movie 'dead man'.. my favorite.. (johnny depp) as a ghost i relate to being a walking 'dead man' like the character william blake in that movie.. thanks everyone for the support, i would've been a goner on my own.. ghost
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Post by sleepflower on Dec 2, 2007 15:52:59 GMT -5
ooo, johnny depp. if I didn't have to work, i'd be full-time stalker for him or trent reznor. hope you're doing ok..i know you can stay strong. hope you see that it's not worth going back there after all the work you've done. let us know how you're going on. |
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Post by ghost on Dec 2, 2007 16:03:45 GMT -5
thanks sleepflower, i'm doing ok.. my hubby has been suddenly very helpful.. he just wants me to be able to keep sober.. i go back & forth, thinking i'll be fine, then feeling sure it won't be long.. just a matter of when not if. alcohol has been there literally all my life so it feels just like home.. but the fact that it makes me so deathly ill will probably stop me.. ghost |
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