feeling very sensitive

[exiledempath]

hi, i'm feeling very sensitive right now so i think i'm gonnasit here for awhile

thanks,

stephen

[ghost]

yeah let us know if there's anything we can do to help, ok?


p.s.
i'm from cali too!
ghost

[exiledempath]

well i'm a little afraid to say in the fear that people won't understand, but i'll try explain.

i'm stressed in part just from being isolated to much, thats probably the major stressor. I'm also stressed because i'm trying to figure out what kind of computer to get (I need a new one). I also just feel like the world is pretty harsh. I need to remember not to watch the news.

anyway that was why mainly i was stressed.

but i guess i should tell people what happens to me when i get stressed.

(this may sound a little weird)

i'm in regression in therapy which is essentially to say i experience things as often as a young child or as an infant. This is due to the fact that i wasn't able to attach to my mother.

when i'm regressed it's hard to filter stimuli like sounds or sights or things i feel. (everything feels amplified)

so i get really scared and have a hard time calling up images in my mind that would help me soothe. It's tough to write like an adult right now too. It kinda humilating to feel so young and be adult.

I often feel like i would fit better on a different planet, but i guess i'm stuck here, so i'll do my best to do my best.

Anyway that i bit more about what it's like to be me

Bravo to anyone who tried to follow this post

take care everyone

stephen

[ghost]

hey stephen,
that's not hard to understand at all..
i've talked with many people with ad, rad, asperger's syndrome, etc.. and i think we all just fall somewhere on this spectrum of insecure attachedness..
now i better understand your cool username..

i'm sorry to hear you are isolated, first of all.. that is my biggest problem too.. although i'm married and have a grown son (& 7 therapy cats!) my hubby has attention deficit disorder and is somewhat ad as well.. and that means we live with quite a gulf between us.. it works ok, but it's lonely.. i'm completely removed from relatives which is for the best.. (long story)

my only 'friends' are people online..

and i'm agoraphobic.. so i avoid any contact with people i can.. i've been housebound at times and i sure understand feeling regressed in times of stress.. i get panic attacks and i'm very ocd to try to calm myself.. at the worst times in my life i went into mini catatonic episodes, which is like complete regression.. i never seem to break out of the agoraphobia because i don't think anyone would ever really understand what i go through on a regular basis.. it's all i can do to deal with just daily life..

earlier today i was actually coloring with felt pens, which is something that calms me down.. it's the inner kid in me, i think, just like i used to do in childhood to remain kind of dissociated from everything.. i sometimes just kinda rock, it may sound babyish but it calms me alot..

i remember one rad person i used to talk to who put soft socks on her hands and petted like her head/hair/face.. it is soothing and feels like it's someone else somehow.. (if this sounds weird or anything just take it or leave it.. ) of course a cat or a dog is so therapeutic also.. i think cats are quieter and the purring just seems to ground me or change my alpha waves or something..


in my panic attacks i feel a kind of tunnel vision and i'm overwhelmed by everything.. i get migraines also with hypersensitivity to light & sound.. anyway, all i'm trying to say is i understand, you know?

i've been dealing with a hard situation right now (i mentioned it in my 'snowcave' thread..) and i haven't been able to sleep or turn off my brain .. it just keeps going over things in a state of panic and i also cannot turn it off or calm myself..
it's horrible to have fear loom up and be such a regular part of our lives.. many people just don't get it how annihilating it feels..

wow, i went on long!
i hope it brings you some comfort to know others go through similar problems coping..?

well, please write anything you want..
we want to help and support you..

ghost

p.s.
i just bought a new gateway laptop.. i love it!

[exiledempath]

hey ghost
thanks for understanding being so understanding and thinking my username is cool.

sorry to here that your family life is so lonely
i know that panic can be quite incapacitating
i get frustrated also that it seems there aren't many places to find people who understand what it like to live in so much fear

rocking and coloring helps me also at times. Just finding anyway my inner child enjoys is a positive. I can understand what you said about the socks. I tend to stroke my arms and hair when get stressed out. I like having a dog because i can relate to her because she's very needy like me.

I'll take a look at your 'snowcave' thread

take good care, stephen:)

[sleepflower]

Oh my god, I've just gone cold at the thought that I've upset you, Thumper. Was it me? If so, I'm so, so sorry.

Please come back, I love to talk to you and you most certainly are not the worst person in the world...quite the opposite.

[ghost]

thumper said:

well i was feeling slightyl better but now dont.....didnt know there were rules on here.....didnt realise we couldnt post in certain places.....going to stay here......if i come back....thanks for the trigger.....it hit me like a sledge hammer.....feel the worst person in the world.....wont do it again

i feel like maybe i missed something here this a.m.??
thumper, was it the comment in the daily chat about posting in the snowcave?

if so that breaks my heart!
please know that i want you to share my little cold snowcave any old time you feel like it, ok? when i created the isolation area i did it for times when we need to feel extra safe among the humans, even here.. so please always know you are welcome there.. post away!

i'm so sorry you got hurt..
ghost

[nattie]

you know you can talk to your friends