Post by ghost on Dec 27, 2006 14:30:31 GMT -5
this is carried over from the old thread:
books on ad...
« Thread Started on Oct 17, 2006, 9:49am »
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Adult Attachment: Theory, Research, and Clinical Implications"
Edited by W. Steven Rholes and Jeffry A. Simpson
picking up an old subject:
i just wanted to mention i'm starting chaper #8 and finding lots of interesting stuff, in amongst the clinical jargon.. page 37 mentions a correllation between attachment anxiety being triggered when belittling or demeaning tones of voice are used with a spouse in times of need.. this is a huge issue with me & my hubby.. he has a.d.d. and isn't usually even aware how he sounds and what an effect it has on me.. kinda silly, he asks me how he sounds..?! (but i don't do impressions..) exasperation, sarcasm, can be killer.. and i'm ptsd enough that yelling (even at the dog) can regress me into total dissociation/shutdown..
although so far the book's just arguing the validity of the few aad self tests that are out there, already i am learning alot and coining new terms, the 'anger of despair' being my favorite so far, geez.. my art in a nutshell..
and so far most valuable is learning that attachment issues can change throughout time, are not completely fixed.. this seems hopeful, but also explains how my attachment experiences started out bad and got even worse over my lifetime..
also chapter #4 is a mire of dynamical systems and stability.. i mucked through it, but recommend jumping over it...
it is only at chapter #6 & #7 that i really feel like i am into the broadly relevant material i'd hoped for...
lots of interesting stuff.. but my eyes are tired now..
looking forward to others' opinions/discussion of this book..
ghost
Joined: Aug 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 130
Location: CT
Re: adult attachment: theory, research & clinical
« Reply #2 on Aug 29, 2006, 6:28am »
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey, ghost,
I just got my copy (finally!) in the mail yesterday.
Now comes the hard part - reading it!
And I am finding it a bit difficult as it is relatively small, single spaced type, so I find myself drifting off into la-la land as I read.
Following Bina's advice, I will read Chapters 1, 7, and 8 first. Part IV looks good, tho so I will follow with that part - 9, 10, and 11.
Then I'll pick and choose, I guess.
Your statement from page 37, tho, is very familiar! "page 37 mentions a correllation between attachment anxiety being triggered when belittling or demeaning tones of voice are used with a spouse in times of need.. " I don't think my wife understands HER tones of voice when we discuss our 'problems'.
She clearly understands MY tones, but claims hers never changes.
Binabear
Improving by leaps and bounds
member is offline
Joined: Aug 2006
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Posts: 358
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Re: adult attachment: theory, research & clinical
« Reply #3 on Aug 29, 2006, 6:49am »
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Actually, Pete, go with Ghost's advice - I was just trying to remember what chapters she was advising. I have been too wrapped up in my own stuff to read it carefullly!
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ghost
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mad hatter
Joined: Aug 2006
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Re: adult attachment: theory, research & clinical
« Reply #4 on Sept 1, 2006, 11:31am »
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
just some notes:
page:
interesting stuff in ch. 7 & 8 about breakdown of types, 'deactivation' vs. 'hyperactivation' of attachment systems..
#164 - interesting note about how POWs use fantasy, "mentally actual" others, or god, angels, deceased others #189
#206
secure & somewhat anxious people respond strongly in tests to the word 'talk' while avoidants do to the word 'escape'..
the idea of a heirarchy of attachments
#219
why we perceive the same occurrence differently based on attachment types, (vigilant for rejection or dismissive/indifferent)
on memory.. the idea of 'retrospective contamination'!!
just things of note...
ghost
>>>>>>>>>
i stopped a little over halfway through this book 'cause i felt like i was getting little overall info for so much reading effort since it is an exhaustively clinical book full of research material...
i would not recommend spending your money on this one...
trying out another i've heard recommended instead:
daniel siegel's 'the developing mind'
(although i haven't read it yet, i've been looking through this one first and it is most promising, much better reading and it addresses the latest attachment research findings in a context of how early parent-child bonding affects us lifelong and exactly how.. this is the best one so far!)
i'll post my thoughts on this link & invite anyone else to add theirs..
ghost
« Last Edit: Oct 17, 2006, 11:39am by ghost » Link to Post - Back to Top Logged
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"i growl when i'm pleased.. therefore i am mad..."
-lewis carrol
"i met a girl.. a snowball in hell...
she was hard.. and as cracked as the liberty bell..."
-e. smith
"healing comes so painfully
and it chills to the bone,
will anyone get close to me?
i'm damaged, as i'm sure you know..."
"i never made it without biting.."
www.friendlyghost.typepad.com/ my blog
ghost
Joined: Sept 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 509
Location: portland, oregon
Re: books on ad...
« Reply #1 on Oct 31, 2006, 9:43am »
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i've been talking to my old therapist back in la again & she had this to add on the subject of ad books/reading:
"developing the mind was another one pretty technical, don't think i ever finsihed it. have seen him speak many times. but he has another book, parenting from the inside out, with mary hartzell, which i think is an easier read. I have been taking a class in infant development and contemporary psychoanalytic thought, so we have been doing lots of reading on attachment theory. there is a Handbook of Attachment Theory: Research,and Clinical Applications, by Jude Cassidy & Phillip Shaver, which contains many articles about attachment theory.."
she also mentions a another writer she's going to hear speak, a woman named Beebe, a phd in new york studying women who were pregnant during 9/11 and the effects of those children in the womb and ad issues.. so you can look for her too...
i'll write more when i've read more!
ghost
an important p.s. -
licia's website is really incredible and has tons of info and articles, a book list, important links, and is just an all around great source for info about therapy, mental health, dysfunction, etc...
check it out:
www.latherapists.com/
« Last Edit: Oct 31, 2006, 10:48am by ghost » Link to Post - Back to Top Logged
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"i growl when i'm pleased.. therefore i am mad..."
-lewis carrol
"i met a girl.. a snowball in hell...
she was hard.. and as cracked as the liberty bell..."
-e. smith
"healing comes so painfully
and it chills to the bone,
will anyone get close to me?
i'm damaged, as i'm sure you know..."
"i never made it without biting.."
www.friendlyghost.typepad.com/ my blog
pete42
Top Dog
member is online
By His stripes we are healed
Joined: Sept 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 284
Location: CT
Re: books on ad...
« Reply #2 on Oct 31, 2006, 11:14am »
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I know that many don't feel that this goes along with sexual disorders, but...
I find that my anorexia is here and in the sexual addiction area of sexual anorexia. Therefore, before closing the book, look at these because they address addictions and self healing. I think they will help all of us.
From John Bradshaw - Healing the Shame That Binds You
From Partick Carnes - Out of the Shadows
Sexual Anorexia: Healing your Sexual Self-Hatred
A Gentle Path Thru The 12 Steps
That'll do for beginners.
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ghost
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mad as a hatter...
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Re: books on ad...
« Reply #3 on Nov 25, 2006, 3:57pm »
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i just ordered the two books licia recommended that i mentioned above since amazon recommended one of them to me also.. and offered free shipping! i'll let you guys know if they end up being worth our while or not..
surprised i do not find more about agoraphobia and attachment disorder.. as this is what originally led me into the whole subject in the first place..
books on ad...
« Thread Started on Oct 17, 2006, 9:49am »
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Adult Attachment: Theory, Research, and Clinical Implications"
Edited by W. Steven Rholes and Jeffry A. Simpson
picking up an old subject:
i just wanted to mention i'm starting chaper #8 and finding lots of interesting stuff, in amongst the clinical jargon.. page 37 mentions a correllation between attachment anxiety being triggered when belittling or demeaning tones of voice are used with a spouse in times of need.. this is a huge issue with me & my hubby.. he has a.d.d. and isn't usually even aware how he sounds and what an effect it has on me.. kinda silly, he asks me how he sounds..?! (but i don't do impressions..) exasperation, sarcasm, can be killer.. and i'm ptsd enough that yelling (even at the dog) can regress me into total dissociation/shutdown..
although so far the book's just arguing the validity of the few aad self tests that are out there, already i am learning alot and coining new terms, the 'anger of despair' being my favorite so far, geez.. my art in a nutshell..
and so far most valuable is learning that attachment issues can change throughout time, are not completely fixed.. this seems hopeful, but also explains how my attachment experiences started out bad and got even worse over my lifetime..
also chapter #4 is a mire of dynamical systems and stability.. i mucked through it, but recommend jumping over it...
it is only at chapter #6 & #7 that i really feel like i am into the broadly relevant material i'd hoped for...
lots of interesting stuff.. but my eyes are tired now..
looking forward to others' opinions/discussion of this book..
ghost
Joined: Aug 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 130
Location: CT
Re: adult attachment: theory, research & clinical
« Reply #2 on Aug 29, 2006, 6:28am »
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey, ghost,
I just got my copy (finally!) in the mail yesterday.
Now comes the hard part - reading it!
And I am finding it a bit difficult as it is relatively small, single spaced type, so I find myself drifting off into la-la land as I read.
Following Bina's advice, I will read Chapters 1, 7, and 8 first. Part IV looks good, tho so I will follow with that part - 9, 10, and 11.
Then I'll pick and choose, I guess.
Your statement from page 37, tho, is very familiar! "page 37 mentions a correllation between attachment anxiety being triggered when belittling or demeaning tones of voice are used with a spouse in times of need.. " I don't think my wife understands HER tones of voice when we discuss our 'problems'.
She clearly understands MY tones, but claims hers never changes.
Binabear
Improving by leaps and bounds
member is offline
Joined: Aug 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 358
Location: California
Re: adult attachment: theory, research & clinical
« Reply #3 on Aug 29, 2006, 6:49am »
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Actually, Pete, go with Ghost's advice - I was just trying to remember what chapters she was advising. I have been too wrapped up in my own stuff to read it carefullly!
Link to Post - Back to Top Logged
ghost
Improving by leaps and bounds
member is online
mad hatter
Joined: Aug 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 296
Location: portland, oregon
Re: adult attachment: theory, research & clinical
« Reply #4 on Sept 1, 2006, 11:31am »
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
just some notes:
page:
interesting stuff in ch. 7 & 8 about breakdown of types, 'deactivation' vs. 'hyperactivation' of attachment systems..
#164 - interesting note about how POWs use fantasy, "mentally actual" others, or god, angels, deceased others #189
#206
secure & somewhat anxious people respond strongly in tests to the word 'talk' while avoidants do to the word 'escape'..
the idea of a heirarchy of attachments
#219
why we perceive the same occurrence differently based on attachment types, (vigilant for rejection or dismissive/indifferent)
on memory.. the idea of 'retrospective contamination'!!
just things of note...
ghost
>>>>>>>>>
i stopped a little over halfway through this book 'cause i felt like i was getting little overall info for so much reading effort since it is an exhaustively clinical book full of research material...
i would not recommend spending your money on this one...
trying out another i've heard recommended instead:
daniel siegel's 'the developing mind'
(although i haven't read it yet, i've been looking through this one first and it is most promising, much better reading and it addresses the latest attachment research findings in a context of how early parent-child bonding affects us lifelong and exactly how.. this is the best one so far!)
i'll post my thoughts on this link & invite anyone else to add theirs..
ghost
« Last Edit: Oct 17, 2006, 11:39am by ghost » Link to Post - Back to Top Logged
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"i growl when i'm pleased.. therefore i am mad..."
-lewis carrol
"i met a girl.. a snowball in hell...
she was hard.. and as cracked as the liberty bell..."
-e. smith
"healing comes so painfully
and it chills to the bone,
will anyone get close to me?
i'm damaged, as i'm sure you know..."
"i never made it without biting.."
www.friendlyghost.typepad.com/ my blog
ghost
Joined: Sept 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 509
Location: portland, oregon
Re: books on ad...
« Reply #1 on Oct 31, 2006, 9:43am »
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i've been talking to my old therapist back in la again & she had this to add on the subject of ad books/reading:
"developing the mind was another one pretty technical, don't think i ever finsihed it. have seen him speak many times. but he has another book, parenting from the inside out, with mary hartzell, which i think is an easier read. I have been taking a class in infant development and contemporary psychoanalytic thought, so we have been doing lots of reading on attachment theory. there is a Handbook of Attachment Theory: Research,and Clinical Applications, by Jude Cassidy & Phillip Shaver, which contains many articles about attachment theory.."
she also mentions a another writer she's going to hear speak, a woman named Beebe, a phd in new york studying women who were pregnant during 9/11 and the effects of those children in the womb and ad issues.. so you can look for her too...
i'll write more when i've read more!
ghost
an important p.s. -
licia's website is really incredible and has tons of info and articles, a book list, important links, and is just an all around great source for info about therapy, mental health, dysfunction, etc...
check it out:
www.latherapists.com/
« Last Edit: Oct 31, 2006, 10:48am by ghost » Link to Post - Back to Top Logged
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"i growl when i'm pleased.. therefore i am mad..."
-lewis carrol
"i met a girl.. a snowball in hell...
she was hard.. and as cracked as the liberty bell..."
-e. smith
"healing comes so painfully
and it chills to the bone,
will anyone get close to me?
i'm damaged, as i'm sure you know..."
"i never made it without biting.."
www.friendlyghost.typepad.com/ my blog
pete42
Top Dog
member is online
By His stripes we are healed
Joined: Sept 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 284
Location: CT
Re: books on ad...
« Reply #2 on Oct 31, 2006, 11:14am »
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I know that many don't feel that this goes along with sexual disorders, but...
I find that my anorexia is here and in the sexual addiction area of sexual anorexia. Therefore, before closing the book, look at these because they address addictions and self healing. I think they will help all of us.
From John Bradshaw - Healing the Shame That Binds You
From Partick Carnes - Out of the Shadows
Sexual Anorexia: Healing your Sexual Self-Hatred
A Gentle Path Thru The 12 Steps
That'll do for beginners.
Link to Post - Back to Top Logged
ghost
Top Dog
member is online
mad as a hatter...
Joined: Sept 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 509
Location: portland, oregon
Re: books on ad...
« Reply #3 on Nov 25, 2006, 3:57pm »
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i just ordered the two books licia recommended that i mentioned above since amazon recommended one of them to me also.. and offered free shipping! i'll let you guys know if they end up being worth our while or not..
surprised i do not find more about agoraphobia and attachment disorder.. as this is what originally led me into the whole subject in the first place..
