lyly
Full Member
Posts: 112
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Post by lyly on Mar 30, 2008 17:54:47 GMT -5
fuck your brother, but he can be the only way to tell you .. "hey..you lost so much in so little time, do you have a problem ?" and .. that s fucking strange they don t answer ... give them another chance, contact them again... rah Mandy I wanna give you a hug ...
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Post by ghost on Mar 31, 2008 13:20:28 GMT -5
all the red tape sux. hang in there, chicklette!
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Post by ghost on Apr 4, 2008 13:03:59 GMT -5
hang in there mandy.... this is the worst time for most of us......knowing its going to happen, wanting it to happen but scared for when it does.....talk about any anxiety you have......get everything out, that you mind starts thinking about.....focus on getting to the place and walking through the door, give yourself the strength to do this.....and blank anyone else out...... this is where i would freak out, right at the last minute......done it so many times.....looking back on it, i wish i hadnt.....it took another 10 years before i did.....well cant change the past....only look to the future and how to deal with it.... yep.. this is where our 'avoidant' label becomes glaring.. i can't tell you how many dr's appt.s i have cancelled and then regretted it! with me i have to decide and then just go.. like the walk-in clinic thing.. the waiting is worse anxiety wise than just going and doing what i have to do.. but mandy if you have awhile before this all gets underway then maybe try to find some fun distractions to take your mind off it while you can until then.. you know, go somewhere.. take some photographs, try something new? it's a good thing, you made a good decision so just allow it to unfold.. ghost
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Post by sleepflower on Apr 4, 2008 14:09:58 GMT -5
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Post by sleepflower on Apr 9, 2008 13:30:16 GMT -5
Please stick with it Mandy. I'm sorry that it's so frustrating...what are they playing at? Don't they realise how important this is? It will be worth it.
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Post by sleepflower on Apr 11, 2008 5:44:31 GMT -5
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Post by ghost on Apr 11, 2008 13:50:30 GMT -5
Ghost, any idea what kind of questions I should expect on this survey thing? your guess will be as good as mine at this point.. you are now officially braver than i! i chickened out before treatment of any kind other than seeing the nutritionist once and getting in trouble regularly with my drs/therapist.. i'm sure they know their stuff since that's their specialty.. glad you finally got your appt. ghost
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Post by ghost on Apr 21, 2008 23:19:16 GMT -5
aarrgh.. after all that? they do tend to rank your diagnoses as 'feature' and then the rest.. it's all so connected, i know i thought of my ed as an 'eating phobia' for the first many years.. sorry, mandy.. i really wish you could at least find a good therapist match.. it's so dang hard though.. people say 'seek help' so easily when you have these kinds of problems.. like it's so easy.. it's so not. ghost
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Post by sleepflower on Apr 22, 2008 3:22:11 GMT -5
I'm sorry that this is being such a nightmare for you Mandy. I'm sorry that I don't have any advice, but here's a hug instead.
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Post by ghost on Apr 22, 2008 17:14:26 GMT -5
Ghost, if you're interested, this is the website for the program... www.anxietytreatmentexperts.com The woman told me there's only like 2 or 3 of these type of treatment centers in the country. I'd never heard of anything like it before. wow.. i've definitely never seen anything like this out there before.. i've only ever found one group for panic/agoraphobia that i attended for a while, but i had to be on tranquilizers to do it! lol.. usually treatment has consisted of tranquilizers and ad's.. regular therapy, etc.. it's about time! it might be a real help.. i know from your posts that you've suffered through some serious bouts of major fear, and i know with myself that an ed can stem from that anxiety.. when you have no control over certain things in your life you can start over-controlling the things you do have power over.. like your food/eating/exercising.. even though it's not the real issue.. maybe there's a therapist with that group that has ed experience? it's worth asking.. ghost
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Post by ghost on Apr 23, 2008 15:40:16 GMT -5
mandy, i hear ya.. they're definitely making the ed take a backseat.. i would ask/look into the therapists with the group & see if any have experience working with ed's.. at least maybe you could get the best of both worlds that way? all the things you are saying are valid points and i didn't mean to suggest your eating issues simply come from control issues & anxiety.. that's what i meant by how interconnected it all is.. just that without the fear of fat it wouldn't have power.. i also beat myself up with it/punishment.. the not deserving food was my trademark too.. my therapist said i was out to conquer any need i ever had.. including sustenance.. that is why i'd fast for as long as i could.. even water was hard for me.. our ongoing battle to keep me from getting dehydration sick.. and i also thought that it made me more acceptable somehow to others.. but really it never changes in actuality.. others don't change because you get sickly thin.. if that had worked i'd probably be dead from it by now.. but i realized it made No difference.. because you are already 'good enough'! you just don't believe it and others aren't treating you as though you are.. that is their shortcoming.. not yours.. i hold out good hopes for you, kid.. you're a smart cookie.. you have your head on straight and will come out of all this stronger & wiser.. ghost
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Post by ghost on Apr 23, 2008 21:49:29 GMT -5
i'm sorry about that happening at sa.. you didn't sound too defensive or anything, i just want you to know that just because i mention one thing does not mean i'm minimizing another, ok? i mean if i have learned one thing from all the many years i've dealt with all this stuff.. it's that it is all so interconnected and unique to each and every individual.. so lines are crossed, treatments blend, it's never going to be a perfect science, you just keep yourself in there and seek out the best help you can.. and even then it really is all about doing the work yourself.. all anyone else can do is give their best support and advice.. even the 'help' is human and imperfect at best.. so it does take some real patience.. and i know how hard that is when you want to address and tackle a specific problem right now. and you are so self aware.. that will serve you well even if it is a bit of an anxiety producing thing in itself.. i know all about the secrecy & working around people to keep an ed going ( ) the scary thing is in this world we are free to starve ourselves to death and the truth is no one can really stop us but ourselves.. you are smart enough that you can't bs yourself though.. your self awareness is what will make you well.. use it and the anxiety as your teachers.. during my decade or so of anorexia i saw many therapists, psychologists, etc.. but mainly one fairly good one for almost 6 years.. and try as she might i remained sick the whole time.. and then i recovered after i left therapy.. go figure! even still it's shakey ground.. i keep just in the 'normal' weight zone.. but no one could 'fix' me, you know? i had to gradually change my own behaviors one tiny step at a time, adjusting and freaking out to each new lb. each new food, etc.. it's going to be work and frustration the whole way.. i hope whichever way you go that you find a good match therapist wise.. that is the main thing.. that relationship is what is most important.. the trust you build there is what will help you work through your issues, whether they be ed or anxiety related.. sorry if i rambled on a bit here.. ghost
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Post by sleepflower on Apr 24, 2008 11:04:40 GMT -5
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Post by ghost on Apr 29, 2008 19:15:36 GMT -5
i've heard it said that nowadays kids aren't really prepared to strike out on their own till their 20's.. with jobs & college being what they are.. in the old days you could leave at 18 and start a life..
but our 19 year old isn't ready yet, for example.. just the cost of a car and carrying auto ins., tuition, books, etc would be impossible if he were on his own.. our deal is as long as he takes college classes (and does well, you know, takes it seriously) he has free room & board & all that goes with it.. (laundry, etc.. 'mom' stuff) luckily he's on the dean's list every time and has never been one to get into any trouble at all..
i watch that intervention show too.. some of the addicts on there are so unbelieveably selfish.. and others seem to want to do right.. it seems like it's more the spoiled ones who take advantage and use.. i mean it's too expensive if you're on your own.. they always have an enabler funding their addiction.. i know i moved out at 17 and that ended my drug use at the time just due to sheer poverty.. maybe that is sorta the point you were making? that the parents enable out of fear? when in reality an addict kinda needs to fall on their ass to get straightened out..
maybe your comment sounded like a threat/excuse to use drugs or something for her to slam you that way?.. not knowing more i can only guess.. that's a hard thing to hear.. especially joking about it.. it would make me feel pangs of abandonment at any age.. i figure when parents do their job right, then their kids feel ready to leave the nest at an appropriate time.. but i know with my son, he's so shy and sorta ocd.. if it takes him longer then i'm still here bein' a mom, you know? that job doesn't just end at 18. ghost
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raining
Full Member
And the void would be calling...
Posts: 176
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Post by raining on May 13, 2008 9:39:59 GMT -5
I agree with the medication side, I used to stay away from it because it doesn't solve the underlying causes, just deals with the symptoms, however now I see that its very helpful to get that lift up into a place where you're more able to cope and deal with the causes.
I dont think you are selfish, we do what we do to survive and when you have these types of problems they consume you, to the point we dont always know who we are anymore.
Petes right, you recognise what your going through and you have understanding of your thoughts, that can only be a helpful and positive thing in understanding yourself while recovering.
Take care x
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