summer is here..

[ghost]

hey it's so quiet here..

sorry i've been away from my pc..
hubby gets 3 day weekends now.. very nice!

it has been very hot here..
with an unexpected thunderstorm last night..
lightning strikes all over and huge raindrops..
muggy.

we got the '3 red lines/lights of death' on our xbox 360 (it's dead)
so i'm stranded without a good game..


i miss oblivion..
(cry.)

everyone have a good 4th of july!

ghost

[ghost]

yeah and it saves so much on gas $ it's like getting a raise!
everyone should switch to 4 day weeks.. solve the gas problem? lol..
;D

ghost

[ghost]

happy 4th!

[ghost]

hey pete..
yeah it's ghostly quiet here these days..
i've talked to lyly on another board at her birthday..
thumper's on vacation in the canaries..
we seem to get new members who never post..
& i can't seem to get us linked up to civilization anywhere..
i wonder how even these new people find us?

we need to link up somewhere..
but i've tried everywhere i know..

honestly i thought maybe i was talking too much and being a
threadkiller? so i let up thinking others would jump in..
i won't close the board.. so.. it'll be here no matter what..
but it would be great if it were being used for & by folks who need support..

sounds like you're still getting the old punishment from tw?
maybe at a time when you are less defensive/hurt by it all..
you know a cool time.. maybe you could ask her if she thinks
you may not be hearing clearly how hurt she was?
i think women tend to go over and over a thing until they feel
absolutely certain the other person so gets it.. that they are completely heard..
then and only then can we start the real forgiving part where we don't go back and sandbag with the
same old history..

well,
i check here still every coupla days..
sometimes i'm busier now that we have 3 day weekends,
but there's still a ghost that haunts this place!!


ghost

[ghost]

yeah.. me too..
and i read if anyone posts.. but sometimes i feel too screwed up to be much help myself at the time..


and pete.. you may very well have already done your best to do what i suggested.. i'm not saying you haven't.. i just think she needs to be pinned down to some rational meeting of the minds point where she has to decide to let it go someday.. i mean moving forward/making progress takes a commitment.. and she doesn't seem to be at that point, huh?

sorry it's so hard..


(anyone that has any ideas where to link us speak up..
i just have tried every way i know..
we're not all AD folk so it's fine even just at regular psychboards to appeal to others with similar issues.. in fact i don't think most people even know what AD is even when they have it..)

ghost

[ghost]

mandy..
i sure don't miss the smokey air like that..
my son had asthma and it never failed to make him sick every summer/autumn & the fire season seemed to get longer every year.. but i think you are way closer to the fires than we were..?

about the xbox..
on their site you can get a free online account and it tells everything to go through to check out the unit and how to get a replacement.. even though ours was out of warranty it still doesn't charge you if it's the '3 red lights' thing..

they sent us a 'coffin' pretty quick to send it back in.. but i have no idea how long it will take for them to send us a replacement..
also you should take your harddrive off the back and keep it because it will not have affected your saved games & stuff.. so you should be able to put it back on the new unit..

the sa board has been particularly unfriendly and troublesome also with the spammers & stuff.. (i even deleted one of my posts when the person who started the thread being such a d*** (rude)..


anyway.. keep safe!
ghost

p.s.
www.xbox.com/en-US

p.p.s.
thumper's back!

hey how's your tan?

[ghost]

mandy..
it was a thread about climbing mt hood with that pickhead bro tupelo.. so unnecessarily unfriendly.. even sean posted and then said 'why am i even wasting my time with you?' and then i noticed after he had deleted his post so i did mine too..

i think i'm friendly to everyone, but some people are just jerks no matter what you say to them i guess..?

one year old? you should surely still be under warranty..
yeah we were miles away from the fires down where we were by the beach.. but the ash & smoke still choked us out too..


hey! i'm happy because today i'm getting an early bday gift!!
;D
i found these cool candys in hot topic (yes i shop there.. so sue me i'm an aging goth..lol) they are skeleton pieces with lollipops on each piece.. but i was missing the skull & pelvis bits so i found a place online and my hubby bought me a box of them!!! so now i will have a skeleton (for my closet) and an unopened box to tuck away into my weird collection of stuff.. (i collect toys mostly but anything unusual as well..)
it should come today so i am excited! (or i guess toxic is? she was gonna wish for skeletons with her birthday wish for sure anyway!!!!)


everyone have a great weekend!

ghost

[ghost]

oooh! they're here!!!





great! more skeletons in my closet?
;D

ghost

[ghost]

strange isn't it.. how pretty all that smoke makes the sun?
but i getchya about sa..
i think i've left & gone back like 3 times?
always 1 or 2 nice people end up being enough for me to start posting again..
but sometimes i can't deal with all the haterade there..
i don't think any of that is in the spirit of elliott.


i think i'll go say hi to sleepflower at her blog & see how she's doing before i log off for the wknd..

ghost

[ghost]

sorry i've been off in tmj/migraineland for awhile..


mandy..
yes, marilee strong? i've quoted from that book in some of my detail pages regarding attachment insecurity & self injury & harlow's monkeys.. (even here somewhere? in the art threads?)
i'd say 'scarred soul' & 'bright red scream' are the best out there..
the latter is more in depth/clinical but well worth the read i think..
i didn't like one called 'bodily harm' which treats si like they do in some institutionalized settings and i disagree with their approach.. also there's a stephen levenkron one 'cutting'.. which has real good elements but he's such a massive egomaniac which detracts from that one (& also his book about anorexia 'best little girl in the world'..)

we share the major depression tag..
even with my good days/episodes i barely seem to ever come out of clinical depression it seems..

hey pete, bald is beautiful!

ghost

[ghost]

yep.. he definitely thinks highly of his own opinions..
i give him credit with being a groundbreaker and all..
'cause there's no doubt.. but it;s hard to take..
i think he honed that attitude treating teenage anorexic girls who needed someone overconfident like that as an authority figure?
i think so many people turn to 'dr phil' the same way..
like he just represents a huge daddy to a bunch of people who need that? they need someone telling them what to do maybe?
i'm hugely anti-authority so that's so weird to me..


ghost

[ghost]

mandy..
oh man! there's nothing more stressful than a wedding!

i remember reading over at sa as you went back & forth getting that dress & then not needing it anymore.. now it's back on.. ?


i was my sister's bridesmaid and wore one of those poofy dresses.. i'm not very girlygirl (haha) i hate those kinds of events..
but then if you have to speak to your mom about therapy is that going to be taken as another stress while all this is going on again with your brother? you might just set yourself up to catch flack that you don't need..
have you found a new therapist? or have you looked around?
i like the psychology today 'therapist finder' online because you can check local people out and get a paragraph about their personal philosophy.. look at their picture, etc..
(i rule out 99% based on these things! haha.. but i'm just so chicken now..)
it would be great to have that outlet/person to talk to during it all though..
(and if your brother & his girlfriend have gone this back & forth already i guess their marriage could continue to be an interesting event?)

pete..
you know i watched dr phil's show when it first came on and he is knowledgeable there's no doubt.. and at first i wanted to sic him on some of my own relatives.. but you could just watch his ego inflate beyond all purportions over time! now it's shameless the way he works the audience and exploits the issues.. i can't stand the man now..


i've been at about the end of my small rope here having a terrible tmj flare-up.. i've had tmj for more than 10 years but there's not alot of knowledge/treatment for it and mine is not even typical (it's nerve pain) which is hell.
so i can't tolerate hot or cold food/drinks.. and i ended up just fasting away yesterday & day before out of my misery.. it ends up just putting me back into the same corner i was in with my eating disorder.. why eat?
anyway.. my kitties & guys need me so i gotta keep trying.. even though kinda shutting down for a while actually gave me the best mental rest i've felt in a real long time..

it's actually cold here today.. in july?! never ceases to amaze me.
ghost

[ghost]

yeah.. i didn't remember whether you still wanted to see that old therapist or not.. but if she's difficult to get a hold of now then it's safe to assume it would be difficult to get ahold of her when you need her too.. not great..


maybe time to try someone new? i dunno..
it's so hard to find a good match & someone really comptetent all in one..

i'm stressed out right now too & wish i had my old therapist to talk to (although i waffle between hating her guts and missing her..lol )
i've had such tmj problems that i'm at the lowest weight i've been this year (without doing anything intentional at all.. just stress/pain/depression?) & back to dehydration & symptoms & the whole thing..
looking for a new medical dr is hard enough and i'm not getting anywhere.. the one i have just practically throws effexor & lexepro at me when i walk in the door so i've avoided her for ages..

well, my migraine's over at least so i'm hoping to enjoy the weekend anyway.. hope you can too!

ghost

p.s.
oh wow.. look at my postcount!!
my next post better be something special, huh?

[ghost]

mandy..
i agree with pete..
at least she seems qualified.. that is half the battle..
& also yes! we got the xbox back & it's working fine!!
i'm back to my work on fable:lost chapters:

i'm full of evil weevils!!
my character stats say i'm alcoholic & obese!!!?

oh.. and i seem to have flies..

ghost

[ghost]

hi thumper..
oh poor kitty!!!!

here we have to worry about possums & raccoons..
but a fox! i wouldn't know what to do?

for once i was not out with a migraine..
we were out quite a bit over the weekend..
up to a place in washington called lucia falls..
very pretty.. but we didn't take pix this time.. video instead..
so i made a full dvd of home video to send to my mom..
(even though i need to be a thousand miles away from her i still tend to try to make her feel happy any way i can.. it's a curse?)

i did put pix in the col. r. gorge thread a while back though of one of our little summer hikes..

it's so quiet here lately..
i wish i knew of other places to link us up to bring in people..?
we are incredibly hard to find and that's a shame..

take care,
ghost