raining
Full Member
And the void would be calling...
Posts: 176
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Post by raining on Feb 21, 2008 5:25:12 GMT -5
*Hugs* It can be such a relief to take time out and take yourself out of stressful situations, the problem is if you leave it to long it gets harder and harder to get back out. I'm agoraphobic and I hardly go out, then its for appointments. I went into a shop yesterday for the first time in ages and I'm still horrified over it, first i pick a couple of items up without a basket because it didn't register that's what your supposed to do, then i walked around not knowing where anything was, I had a few looks over it I think it was obvious I don't food shop much. I hate going out, i feel like an alien on everyone else's planet. xxx
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Post by ghost on Feb 21, 2008 14:25:53 GMT -5
i was literally housebound years ago for a period of time.. i felt safe that way, but then i turned my sleeping schedule around and lived nocturnally!.. i felt safer!! but i eventually got myself back out.. i can now go almost anywhere as long as i'm with a 'safe' person.. hubby.. or even my son.. but not by myself as much as i should? sometimes you need to give yourself the break, though, and push the envelope another day.. one thing i have found is i recognize when i Do feel like venturing out, and i try to go somewhere i enjoy.. it's a positive reinforcer, i suppose.. take care fellow fearful/avoidants! ghost
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Post by ghost on Feb 27, 2008 13:30:28 GMT -5
aw, man. i think i'm like the fearful/avoidant poster child. avoiding all human interactions in the 3d world.. i've gotten to where i get a hot chocolate at starbuck's every a.m. now (eeek! the calories!!!!) but i don't care! i love it! anyway, so it got to where they knew me and i didn't even have to order, they see my little blue cruiser and when i get to the window they just say hi, personal venti hot chocolate? ok, so that bothered me a little bit.. because that decade of anorexia and no chocolate still has a pull on my brain and i think people are saying in their heads "what a piggy! every day!!!!" the girl there even calls me hon.. and i think, does she know i'm old enough to be her mom? or (shudder) does she think i'm old enough to be her grandma!! i wonder too much about what other people are thinking. so then today i pull up, bedhead hair and clothes pulled on over pajamas.. and she asks me my name! the thing is.. now i don't feel like i can go back! i'm just that fearful/avoidant.. i even tried going to another different starbuck's close by once, but they didn't give me the drizzle (the drizzle of mocha syrup on top of the whipped cream.. gotta have that!) i'm bummed all day when they don't give me my rightful mocha drizzle.. oh dear, i am too agoraphobic for my own good. but i'm serious.. i once stopped going to an 'in & out burgers' in cali for 7ups each day due to the same thing.. am i horrible? i should live in japan where you can buy practically anything out of the millions of anonymous vending machines.. ;D i can't go without my fix!! ghost
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Post by ghost on Feb 27, 2008 19:18:54 GMT -5
i realize i only get through my trips into the 3d world by tricking myself into thinking no one is noticing me, while i practice not noticing them? lol? then i'm forced into a face to face interaction and back into my awful nervous anxiety.. i don't mind the girl at hot topics calling me 'girlfriend' 'cause it makes me feel young.. (back in cali my sons friends thought i was his sister when i picked him up from school, but i was skinnier then! ) but these days i just don't know what to think.. and just plain friendliness seems to make me too shy/nervous.. i'm hopeless! ghost
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