If i have the problem why do i feel so bad

[tomcaust]

I have finally had to resign myself to being unwanted by my family. I conceded and left home to bunk down with a mate for until i get things sorted, although that seems so very far away and unlikly. I would have thought a life partner was supposed to help you through the issues not create more. So here i sit pondering the future and trying to gain a sense of sameness. Where do you start again and how? A question if someone tells you that you have this problem, why is it that you feel so bad. Perhaps the problem is theirs not yours. Anyway, i don't know if this is a good place to bounce a few thoughts around so let me know please if it is not.

[ghost]

hey welcome, tom.. is it ok to call you tom?
sometimes we get hurt because others are really trying to hurt us.. and sometimes we get hurt because we have wounds from the past and the way others handle us brings up old pain.. then part of it is our problem..

pete's right, if you tell us a little bit more maybe we could help?
take care,
ghost

[clover]

Hi tomcaust and Welcome

Sorry you are going through a rough time right now.

Well a life partner(IMO--in my opinion) is there to help-- but it is a two way road-- each of us have to help ourselves in addition to helping our partner. What I mean is-- with a couple --BOTH people have responsibility to help... not just one for the other.

Not pointing fingers here-- just something to think about..... have you done positive things to "help" your partner with issues and not create more?... ... sometimes when we are in a stressful situation it's very common to see things with only one view--- not that you are-- ..... again-- I'm just trying to help.

There is a saying: "No matter how flat you make a pancake there are still two sides"

sometimes seeing other views can be the best help we could ever ask for....

I hope your partner can see other views and that it will lead you both to perhaps working on things together.

Hope to hear more from you.

clover